i am... overwhelmed and afraid and scared and terrified and panicked and obsessed and dead inside.
i don't know how i am going to make it through this move. To be prepared. To be financially able. i need to rehome my chinchillas. i need to rehome most/all my birds. i may need to rehome my dog. i need to get rid of at least half of my "stuff" - or more. And i have maybe 8 weeks to do it all. And i want to crawl into a hole and fill it in after me.
Mom is coming down tomorrow to help. And of course, the thought of her seeing my house so messy is making me want to hide even more. i need to sort through at least one room a week - sort and pack. If i can sort and pack one room a week, i will be pretty much ready by the time we have to move. 4 upstairs rooms - living room, 'school' room, family room, kitchen/dining room. But i have to add in the storage shed and the pantry area. One a week may not sound so bad... but most of you haven't seen my house. And... in addition... i need to get darkmuffin
back on school track, do all the cooking and routine cleaning,... plus find a new place to live, figure out where to get the money to pay for the move, keep on top of all the bills, screen homes for the animals, get darkmuffin
to hockey on time at least twice a week (Sat and Sun mornings by 7:30 usually), and make time for time with my husband. Oh... and maybe time for me, too.
i went through several boxes tonight... i am trying to be brutal. i have kept about 1 box of the 10 i have sorted through so far. i have thrown out all the writings and papers and cards and letters and stories from the past 30 years or so that i have been hanging onto for no good reason. i found my girlscout pins/patches... they are gone now. i found letters from an old love... gone. Pictures and papers and notes and letters. Who needs things and stuff... the memories are there or they aren't. If they are, then wonderful. If they aren't, do they really need to be dredged up again? i found some rose potpourris that my friend Jill and i made when we were about 14 - amazingly it still smelled fresh and strong nearly 24 years later. Gone. The glass bottle is up for grabs.
There is so much up for grabs. Books. Records. Betta tanks. Decorative boxes. Baby/craft scale. Dishes. Books. Clothing/shoes. SCA style/Con style clothing (none my size now... and who knows if i'll be that size again or if i'll ever do things like the SCA or Cons again anyway). Stones. Petrified wood. Books. Free or donation.
For sale i know we have at least 1 DVD player. A pilates performer similar to this one
only with 4 resistance cords and with burgandy/brown, not black, vinyl and no videos. A spinning wheel with some fibre. A table loom. Probably a TV. Probably another DVD player. Probably a VCR. Likely a surround system that does great for TV and for radio, but whose DVD/CD player part is broken - or free on that one.
To add to the joy, i am having sleeping issues again. And stomach issues. And eating issues.
And i still want to be in a hole. Oh. i am.